Tips on how to achieve mutual understanding with your beloved elderly person
When we listen to another person with both attention and care, he feels being understood and supported. But what to do when it is really unbearable to continue listening, when we feel discomfort, tension or when we are simply annoyed by the need listening to same things? Almost all the adults are in this situation from time to time. How to behave?
Take note, to become a good custodian for an elderly person – you need to listen and to hear them. These simple rules can help both a professional educator and an ordinary person. Many elderly people are very frightened by all the medical haste, turmoil, huge stacks of papers – so just stop and listen to your beloved person. This will be a real way for him.
Often older people feel like a burden. On the one hand, they desperately need the support of their children and grandchildren, and on the other, they do not want to bother them. It is very simple to establish relations with your aging relatives. The fact you are listening to your elderly relative expresses a kind of respect for him. They are easier to be sincere with you, they are not afraid to tell you about their problems.
Let’s get acquainted with 4 main ways how to listen to your close relative better:
- Try not to be distracted by extraneous factors when communicating with your relative. It is not superfluous to put the gadgets aside when you come to visit. Call them more often, visit without a reason at least on the weekends. Try to make your visits extremely positive. Sit next to him, hug and listen. Do not be distracted by anything until you are asked. However, compassion is very important. And you need to distinguish between compassion and pity – it’s heaven and earth. Pity disarms us: regretting a person, we, as a rule, can not help him in any way.
- Pay attention to the gestures. Gestures make understanding much easier. Lean forward more often, nod your head and maintain eye contact for perfect mutual understanding. And do not forget the elderly have such a weak hearing – so repeat several times what seems to you loud and understandable. Try to approach it with the utmost understanding. Do not enter into conflict and do not argue. When you understand who you are dealing with, everything becomes much easier. You get negative energy, process it in yourself and give it positive.
- Ask questions. We are used to the fact parents control us. They are strong people, giving advice and help. But suddenly there comes a time when you need to take the helm over yourself: now you are strong, managing the situation. Ask how the days pass, how they feel, maybe they need something? Never ask a question off topic – they might think you are not listening to them. Do not forget it’s better to listen again before asking a question.
- Do not judge during a conversation. At first glance, this may seem difficult, but do not forget who you are talking to. You should have respect for the older person. Carefully think over your answer, control your emotions and try to form your opinion correctly. After all, the fact he expresses his opinion indicates he trusts you – appreciate it!